at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
