Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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