He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
