Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
