he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
