if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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