Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

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(650): View more from California

I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it

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(734): View more from Michigan

Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is

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(720): View more from Colorado

Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?

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