saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
love makes seman taste better
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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