New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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