bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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