And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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