GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Come see our sink grown plant.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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