I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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