I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
