how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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