Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
