The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
