so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
