KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
