Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
