I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
