A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
