i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
