Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
