Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
And then he peed in my hair
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