Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So much rum. So many feels.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
