**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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