puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
