id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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