I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
