I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
