I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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