I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
