I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
