new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
