She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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