Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
