You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i dont even know how to be here
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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