i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
