Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
