thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
