That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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