Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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