I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
