Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
