One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I looked at my own cervix.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
