I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
