i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
