Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
