oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
