WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
